Funny stuff!

my kid's name will be treasure


Keenan Phillips, an aspiring stand-up comedian, was held prisoner in a secret basement room for over four years, his captor forcing him to write 25 jokes per day or else be viciously beaten. Every night, Phillips’ captor Todd Ellis would blindfold Phillips and handcuff him to a metal pole in the back of his van. From there, he would take Phillips to multiple seedy dive bar locations and force him to perform stand up comedy in front of strangers.

“I really can’t say enough about how good this experience has been for me,” Phillips, 26, told reporters yesterday. “Being motivated to just sit down and write comedy everyday and especially getting a ride out to all those sets has done wonders for my joke writing and performing. Not to mention the opportunity to experience being someone’s prisoner- it’s going to lead to a lot of great material, believe me.”


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